"For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you,
'Do not fear, I will help you'" Isaiah 41:13.
I once heard that the one question God would ask when we get to heaven is, "Did you truly believe that I loved you?" This question stuck with me and caused me to think back to moments where I felt like I had struggled the most. When I was afraid, did I really believe that God loved me? When I was having a moment of panic, did I really believe God loved me? Even now, there are moments where I have to ask myself, do I really believe God loves me? The answer is . . . well, I want to say the answer is yes. In my heart I say yes, but my actions do not always exhibit the same enthusiastic answer. When I fear that all will work out according to His plan, when I doubt that He will carry me through, when I allow my feelings to trump His Word, I am answering that question with a resounding no.
At times it seems no matter how hard I try, I am unable to fully surrender to Him and let him take the reins of my life. But the spirit of power and self-control that He has given us reminds me that when the feeling of fear attempts to surround me, I have a choice. I can choose to run and hide inside my fears or I can choose to hold on tight! What relief that brings to my heart. The fact that I have an amazing God who not only lets me hold on tight to Him, but who is holding on even tighter to me is incredible.
I often have to hold on tightly to my son's hand in the parking lot as he attempts time after time to wriggle away. All I want to do is keep him safe and all he wants to do is have control and be free.
I am the same stubborn child as I yearn for freedom, but wriggle away in moments of fear, not realizing that the moment I relax and let God hold my hand is when I will feel the true freedom I so desperately yearn for. It is in the moment that I just let Him hold my hand that I can look up at Him and say, "Yes, God, I truly believe that You love me!"
Copyright 2014 Korrine Kerr Carrera
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